Valentine's Day

I don't hate Valentine's Day. I'm not bitter that I'm single. I have no problem with gushy Facebook statuses or flower stands on every corner. So what if the "industry" uses love as a means to money? Is that really such a terrible thing? Especially in this day and age when everybody is so busy and obsessed with independence, Valentine's Day is a nice little kick in the shins to remind us that it's okay to focus on someone other than ourselves. And a nice little kick to men's shins to remind them that the ladies really do enjoy being wined and dined once in a while. The only thing that bothers me about Valentine's Day is how this holiday somehow makes people feel entitled to scrutinize the relationships, or lack there of, of others.

Everyone claims that if you're confident with being single or secure in your relationship, then you shouldn't get defensive when people question your status. I disagree. Whether rightly or falsely accused, our pride instinctually justifies our circumstances to cynics...and on Valentine's Day, people seem to be cynical of just about any relationship. Singles often proclaim, "Ugh, I would never want to be tied down to a relationship" or "This is just a holiday for Hallmark to make money." People in relationships where they value Valentine's Day often chirp, "Look at that single girl looking so desperate at the bar" or "I'm so lucky to have a [boy/girl]friend who makes me feel special on Valentine's Day." Other couples who don't value Cupid spout, "They're only acting happy because it's Valentine's Day, when in reality their relationship stinks" or "My [boy/girl]friend makes me feel special every day of the year."

Come on. If every one of those statements were true, then the consensus would be that NOBODY is happy and successful in their love lives. Sadly, no matter what your status on Valentine's Day, someone will make you question it with a look, gesture, or subtle remark. Odds are, you unknowingly-or knowingly- make people question theirs, as well. But assumptions about other people's relationships or bachelorism (yep, just invented that word) are pointless and inappropriate. Aside from undeniably unhealthy situations (i.e. ones that generate a lot of crying, moping, fighting, etc.), who are we to think that we understand another person's emotions, motivations, and connections? As discussed in many of my past blog posts about individualism and unique perspectives, we can never see the world through someone else's eyes...and often, if we try to, we're painfully off the mark. A single girl is not necessarily desperate, a girl desperate to be in a relationship is not necessarily insecure, a girl who posts lovey statuses about her perfect boyfriend is not necessarily trying to cover something, and a girl in a relationship who is cynical about Valentine's Day is not necessarily making excuses for an unloving boyfriend. Believe it or not, people can be equally happy while in drastically different stages or types of relationships. At the end of the day, all that matters is that we're striving to bring happiness and love into our lives and the lives of others. Valentine or no Valentine.

Brit and me on our Valentine's Day date