What Do I Stand For?

What do you stand for?

Christina (red dress) as Miss America 2008 is announced

My new friend, mentor, and all-around inspiration asked me that very question one week ago as we sat in a cozy West Village bistro, enjoying pomegranate champagne and chamomile tea. Christina Thompson, Miss Wisconsin 2007 (top 8 at Miss America), was specifically assigned to me as my Miss New York pageant guru of sorts, charged with the task of mentally, physically, and spiritually preparing me to be a Miss America state titleholder. Just to clarify, most local titleholders have a director/board to assist with their preparation for state. However, the six girls who won the sweeper pageant (Miss Manhattan, New York City, Metropolitan (oh, hey!), Verrazano, Western New York, and Gotham City) were instead paired with a former state titleholder (including a Miss Michigan, Miss Virginia, Miss Nevada, Miss Wisconsin, Miss Ohio...and I'm missing one more) to guide them through the process. To say I'm excited to work with Christina is an understatement. She is a fitness nut and nutritionist (swimsuit winner at Miss Wisconsin), has a degree in both vocal and violin performance (talent winner at Miss Wisconsin...baller double preliminary winner), aims to work in the communications field (have I mentioned I eventually want to be a journalist?), and always looks like she just stepped out of a beauty advertisement. More importantly, she exudes a mature warmth that is undeniably magnetizing and welcoming to each person she encounters. Even on our first date in the little bistro, the staff was continuously drawn to her and sparking up conversation because of her ability to make everyone in the room feel at ease. She's MY mentor. Yep, I'm proud. And lucky.

As Christina and I chatted, our commonalities grew more and more apparent. We delved into every topic possible, from family to religion to relationships to pageants to food to careers, finding an uncanny amount of similarities in our experiences. Thank goodness we are able- even expected- to spend a lot of time together these next few months, because one evening certainly was not enough! She has an abundance of wisdom and anecdotes that will surely benefit me not only for Miss New York, but in life...which leads me to the initial question at the top of the page.

One of my biggest fears about competing for Miss New York in June is that I don't have the power and strength behind my interview that is required in such a political state as New York. I have passion, I have humor, I have intelligence, and I have common sense (well...that's debatable), but do I have that unbreakable demeanor that screams "I am woman, hear me roar"? Not so much. I know what I believe and have no qualms with expressing my opinions, but I worry that I lack that fiery edge that seems to be more valued in the Northeast. After I explained this concern to Christina, she started by encouraging me to maintain the characteristics that make me approachable, even if those characteristics include being a little awkward or slightly "Southern" (Virginia Beach all of a sudden seems like the land of happy, agreeable Southern people after living in New York for a while). But then she said this:

"What do you stand for?"

To even my own surprise, I did not immediately jump into an answer that I could have spouted off the cuff in an interview or whipped up to sound self-assured. What. Do. I. Stand. For. I know what I believe in. I believe in making everyone I come in contact with feel important, loved, and happy to be alive. That is the number one thing I believe in: bringing joy and confidence into other people's hearts. I know what I am passionate about. I am passionate about helping people see past the surface of other human beings. My platform is about diversity awareness, and nothing gets me more pumped than the idea of helping people overcome prejudices and open their eyes to the striking similarities they share and the enlightening differences they can accept. I know who I am. I am open, nonjudgmental, goofy, loving, bright, and enthusiastic, all the while constantly working on my pride, patience (sometimes lack-thereof), and productivity (those "p"s are a tough triple-wammy of challenges). I know all of those things. But what do I stand for?

I told Christina I'd have to go home and think about it. Part of me is amazed and ashamed that by the age of 23 I have not contemplated this notion, but the other part of me is excited to use all of the experiences, personal growth, and introspection from my young adulthood to establish an answer as it pertains to who I am at this very moment.

I stand for authenticity.

With every choice I make, every interaction I take part in, and every influence I intend, the one common thread that I take with me is my authenticity. I am confident not only in my own authenticity, but in the idea that my goal is to pull forth the authentic qualities in people around me. Nothing is more rewarding than being aware, happy, and confident in what makes you uniquely you...nothing but playing a part in bringing that awareness, happiness, and confidence out of another person. And that is what I want to do with my life. That is what I stand for.

When I finally realized the answer to Christina's question, everything I've always felt strongly about, proud of, and inspired by seemed to link together. No wonder I founded the organization S.A.I.L. (Sharing Awareness for Intercultural Living) at CNU...I wanted to help grade schoolers discover the authenticity of their classmates who look, sound, and dress different from themselves! No wonder that the compliment I value most is when someone calls me awkward, genuine, or approachable...all three of those things scream authenticity! I'm proud to be a little silly or painfully relatable! No wonder my favorite quote from a song is "A face without freckles is like the sky without the stars" (thank you, Natasha Bedingfield). And no wonder I find so much pleasure in making people laugh...you can't be more authentic than when you're genuinely cracking up.

With her one question, Christina has already instilled in me more excitement about what I want to bring to my last year participating in the Miss America Organization than I ever thought possible. Declaring that one, specific thing that I stand for gives me even more pride (the good kind) in the woman I am, motivation to spread the message through my platform, and determination to exemplify that authenticity as much as I possibly can. Of course I will have to prepare for my interview as studiously as ever, but the fear that I am not fierce enough to take this strong, political, and iconic state of New York by storm has subsided. I am authentically me and will view the judges simply as respectable people who are authentically them. That's all I need to feel calm and ready for whatever happens on June 16th.