Facebook: The Business of Business

At 23 years old, I live in a world where friendship is confirmed by the click of a button, not by dedication to personal phone calls or tangible interaction. As I was taking my daily scroll through Facebook, I saw pictures of old acquaintances, old boyfriends, old teachers, and even a few of their pets. This got me thinking. Is it really necessary to know when my ex has a new girlfriend? Or if the girl I talked to that one time during English class in high school has the same shirt as me? Or if someone's adorable new puppy isn't potty trained yet? The answer is obvious. Still, checking Facebook remains a ritualistic activity in my daily life.

So the question arises...should I get rid of Facebook? Preposterous. I wouldn't dare separate myself from the social circuit and the ability to get the juicy "ins" to people's lives without them ever knowing. I'm only half kidding...because honestly, Facebook is a great source of communication for people you want to stay in touch with, but don't have the time to call once a week. The primary issue with the social networking business is, well, just that: knowing too much of other people's business. Not that they mind. After all, people choose what they share. But that ability to control what is shared results in confusing, often false portrayals of what that person really like. One minute a lovey dovey picture of a seemingly perfect couple pops up on your newsfeed, the next, a little red heart with a crack down the middle appears and says "So-and-so is now single." How depressing. And shocking! Here I was, just yesterday, wishing I could have a relationship like theirs.

You see, that's the point: on Facebook, people can present themselves to the rest of the world in whatever way they wish. Who doesn't want everyone to think they're happy-go-lucky, witty, in a loving relationship, and up to date with fads? Heck, my ex told me he knew a girl who said she deletes a status if less than three people "like" it. That way, it looks like everything she has to say is interesting. Everything, down to what other people write on one's wall, can be manipulated. Consequently, only the shell of a person- a shell that is polished brightly nearly every day- is what we observe on Facebook. Our "friends" are to us only who they want to be. With real friends, we know their struggles, issues, strengths, pains, and weight fluctuations. With Facebook friends, we know their new haircuts, inside jokes we wish we were a part of, and the skinniest pictures they can find of themselves.

You Facebook users may be thinking, "But Shannon, you've forgotten one major group of Facebookers: the oversharers." You know what I have to say to that?

While much of what is shared on Facebook is artificial business, much of it is true. Sometimes the truth hurts. Sometimes we're better off not knowing that our friends went on a trip without us. Sometimes we're better off not knowing that the person who said they didn't have time to text us did have time to comment on a picture. Sometimes we're better off not knowing that the guy we've started dating's ex-girlfriend was a size double zero. I'd just rather be in the dark about that one. As much as these kinds of tidbits are unnecessary stressors, us humans welcome them nonetheless. Our curiosity yearns to be fed, and through Facebook, we have the ability to do just that. I wonder if Billy, the guy I'm secretly in love with, and Jane are still dating...well, she isn't in his profile picture and he hasn't written on her wall in a while. Wait, but she liked his status yesterday, so that's a curve ball. Do we really want to become consumed with overanalyzing situations we have no control over? Or let's say "Billy" and "Jane" have pictures of themselves plastered all over their pages. Do we seriously want to have our heartbreak rubbed in our faces?

Despite the cons, I still love Facebook. I've been able to maintain contact with people I never would have time to catch up with otherwise. Sure, a quick wall post or message isn't as meaningful as a phone call, but a little "Hello, I've been thinking of you" can make my day. For example, when I competed for Miss Virginia, people came out of the woodwork to wish me luck on my wall. Knowing that so many people were excited and supportive made me swell with happiness. Facebook is also very useful for planning events, sharing important news, and even finding roommates. I'm currently looking for a new place to live in NYC come December, and most of my leads have come from someone who knows someone on Facebook.

Good or bad, social networking is a part of the new millennium. We fuel the craze, which means we can also choose the extent to which it affects our lives. What's real is real and what's not is not, but let us remember that depending on Facebook for that information is a gamble.

 

Shannon Oliver

Studied Psychology at Christopher Newport University 

Lives in New York, New York 

<3 In an open relationship with Ricky Bourke

One of those pieces of information is a joke. So how much do you really know about me if you're only my friend on Facebook? Guess you'll have to give me a call to find out!