War Movies

I don't like when people die. Of course, unless you're a homicidal psychopath, you probably agree with me. But I'm not just stating the obvious in terms of death in real life. I don't like when people die in movies, particularly in violent fashions. If a dinosaur eats someone or aliens blow up the planet, I'm not too concerned. But war movies or anything that depicts a true historical event are not my cup of tea.

My mom, Sherwin, Sherwin's son Scott, and I decided to go see a heart-warming Christmas Day movie yesterday: War Horse. The first sign that this movie wouldn't be a feel-gooder was the word "war" in the title. But it's a horse movie...it can't be that depressing! Sign number two was the movie poster (note the melancholy colors). At least the horse's ears are happily perked! Sign number 3: one of the previews was for the re-release of Titantic in 3D. I cried just from the brief clip of the old couple laying in bed, waiting to die as the ship sank. There was no hope for my poor little emotions by the time War Horse began.

As the credits rolled, my mom and I simultaneously looked at each other with the expression reading, "That was so not worth the stress." Yes, the ending was technically "happy," but the emotional roller coaster leading to that final scene was too much to handle. Watching all of the soldiers die in no man's land, all of the people getting torn away from this horse that has come to be their only hope in life, and even the horse himself watching his best horse friend die, nuzzling him in the street...just give me a Xanax already.

I don't think that people who like gory war movies are terrible, sick individuals. I'm personally just going to request omission from now on. Men may argue, "But you make me see chick flicks." My argument? Chick flicks don't emotionally scar you, raise your heart rate (except maybe during a hot and heavy kissing scene, but I'm not going to apologize for that), or make you cry. Sure, some of you boys may have secretly shed a tear during The Notebook, but I'm pretty sure you can accept the difference between war movie crying and chick flick crying. One= hope, happiness, love. One= dispair, pain, and loss. I full support your enjoyment of the manly action, but if you want to watch a non-girly movie with me, please make it one that is unrealistic for the sake of my fragile feelings.