CNU S.A.I.L.

Going home feels so good. When I get off this bus around 11pm, my friend Stephanie (from Miss VA) will bring me back to my house, where I’ll leave my suitcase in the living room and immediately creak upstairs to take a bath in our jacuzzi tub. New York becomes more comfortable each day, but there’s nothing more welcoming than recognizable streets, stores, and houses (and your old bathtub). I haven’t been home in about two months- not really all that long, but I’m ready. When I was in college, I’d go much longer without a trip home even though it was only 45 minutes away. Straining to adjust in drastically new city, however, expedites that ticking clock in your heart that eventually sounds an alarm telling you to retreat to familiar ground.  Even so, had it not been for the Pearls reunion taking place in Nags Head this weekend, I probably would’ve waited until Christmas to visit Virginia. Thank goodness for the push to come down, though, because there are two people I’m dying to give a giant hug: my mom and my little brother. Not to mention I have to exchange my summer wardrobe for my winter clothes, which explains the giant red suitcase I’ll be leaving in the living room during my bath.

The bus ride home wouldn’t be so bad if I hadn’t bruised my tailbone during a horseback riding accident in middle school. Sitting in the same position for extended periods of time really, really hurts. Long term effects, I guess. Maybe I fractured it, ‘cause you’d think a bruise would heal after 11 years. Hmm. Well, luckily, I get the entire two seats to myself this time, because usually I’m rubbing elbows with a tired-looking stranger. The luxury of two seats allows twisting and turning to avoid jolts of pain from searing through my behind. When sharing a seat, I have to settle for subtle butt firming exercises. You don’t want to be me.

Facilitating a middle school S.A.I.L. program

Being me isn’t so bad, though. Today I was reminded of an accomplishment I’m quite proud of in my life; a very welcome reminder after two months of feeling quite unaccomplished in New York. While I was at CNU, I founded an organization called S.A.I.L. (Sharing Awareness for Intercultural Living). I went through some pretty major life changes at the end of my freshman year, leaving me with a burning desire to have a positive influence on the world. I’d left an institution that shaped my morals and granted me opportunities like working in an AIDS home in India, participating in HOPE Youth Corps in Denver, CO, and attending spiritual leadership conferences all over the country. When I separated myself from that institution, the fear that I could no longer better people’s lives haunted me. My boyfriend at the time told me to take that fear and develop it into energy towards doing good. Once it became clear that the topic I felt most passionate about was anti-stereotyping/diversity awareness, Daniel (my ex) and I brainstormed countless ways I could address this issue. We settled on the idea of starting a club on campus that would allow CNU students to facilitate interactive diversity programs in elementary, middle, and high schools.

High School class (I swear there were more than 2 students)

A few weeks before sophomore year began, I approached Stacy Davidson, Director of Multicultural Affairs at CNU. I presented to her my idea and asked if she’d be willing to sponsor the club. She enthusiastically accepted and CNU S.A.I.L. was born. Together we worked on the organizational constitution, training process for members, and program manual to be used in classrooms.  With an extraordinary amount of work, Stacy and I drummed up interest and trained over a dozen CNU students the first semester. We also composed a letter that was sent to every single public school in the Newport News district explaining S.A.I.L. and what our facilitators could bring to classrooms. A few responses in the beginning, followed up by successful programs, led to word of mouth between teachers. Four years later, S.A.I.L. is still intact and having an impact in schools throughout Newport News. Stacy wrote on my Facebook wall today, reassuring me that our legacy lives on (she, too, has left CNU).

My favorite part of S.A.I.L. was receiving emails from teachers with words of gratitude for the changes they saw in their classrooms. The program worked! Of course we couldn’t make every student conquer their prejudices, but knowing even one child grasped the concept made it worthwhile. S.A.I.L. often provided a venue for very candid conversations among rival cliques that most teachers and counselors aimed to suppress. Instead, we allowed those conversations, in a respectful manner of course, in order to get to the bottom of their mutual disdain. One hundred percent of the time, the cause of animosity came from misunderstandings and shallow misjudgements. I distinctly remember one eighth grade group of African-American boys telling a group of Latino boys how they hated that they spoke in Spanish at their lockers because the African-American boys “knew” they (Latinos) were talking smack about them. One of the Latino boys retorted, “No, actually we talk in Spanish because you’ll make fun of our accent if we don’t.” An outspoken black boy looked genuinely surprised said “Really? I didn't know that.” I’m sure that smack talking had occurred at some point, but a legitimate explanation was provided through open communication that changed how both sides viewed the situation. The teacher later informed me that the number of lockerside fights between those classmates decreased drastically after that day.

I’ve wanted to facilitate programs in New York schools, but I get nervous since those students are already so exposed to diversity. Looking back at the time that I spent with students in Newport News, however, I remember that kids are kids- they will separate themselves into cliques no matter what. The message of looking past the exterior and discovering that everyone has a story can be spread in any community.

I’m so glad Stacy wrote on my wall to remind me of how hard work and dedication can, in fact, bring about lasting success. S.A.I.L. was an avenue not just for me, but for CNU students I’ve never met to share the significance of togetherness. Think of how many more children and adolescents have been reached in the past four years than if I’d tried to do something all by myself? Sure, I inspired the development of S.A.I.L., but other students are what keep it alive today. Seeing the hard work from four years ago continue forth without my involvement reiterates that I need to hold tight to a vision and initiate the establishment, then have patience in watching it come to fruition.