Who I Want to Be

I've been going through a "who I want to be" phase these past couple of days.

Beyonce at the 2011 VMAs

Singer: Beyonce. The girl is fierce. Sasha Fierce to be exact. Not to mention gorgeous, morally sound, unbelievably talented (girlfriend can dance her butt off, not just sing a song with five key changes flawlessly..cough2011VMAscough), hard-working, and in a stable marriage. Her performance at the Video Music Awards two nights ago was timeless, classy, and such a beautiful way to announce her pregnancy. For once! A celeb who gets married, THEN pregnant. I'm definitely not bashing people who have children before marriage- it happens! But I find the traditional order of things refreshing. Of course, my dad's comment on my Facebook status that read "I want to be Beyonce" was "She's pregnant. You still want to be her?" Haha...ohhh, Father. You know what I meant.

Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone

Actress: Emma Stone. She's all the rage right now, so maybe I'm just following the crowd. Even Jim Carey recently said he wants her to have his babies. But my reasons have less to do with her adorable looks and more to do with the fact that she gets to star alongside Ryan Gosling in not one, but TWO movies. I think he's my new major celebrity crush...which is weird since he's totally not my type. I'm pretty picky: I want dark hair, dark eyes, and someone 6 feet or taller (call me shallow, but I know what I like). Ryan has the 6 foot thing down, but is light featured. Whatever. He's hot. Besides wanting her leading man next to me, I think Emma's hilarious. It seems she could quite possibly be as awkward as I am, as exemplified in the movies "Easy A" and "Crazy Stupid Love." I also really love the book that I'm currently reading- The Help- in which she'll star when it's released as a major motion picture. Scratch that. I just remembered it's already in theaters. Anyways, she just seems like a cool chick.

Professor McGonagall

Fictional movie character: Professor McGonagall. It's no secret that I love Harry Potter and that with a few wardrobe/hair adjustments, I look remarkably like Hogwarts Professor of Divination, Sybill Trelawney. But can I please be just like Professor McGonagall when I grow up? She is the most epic woman ever. She doesn't take crap from anyone, yet she's surprisingly likable and witty. I saw the final Harry Potter movie again last night with Tess and the WHOLE time, we kept saying "McGonagall is the best!" If you've never seen/read Harry Potter, I'm so sorry for your depressing life. You must be one of those people who A) decides to hate things before trying them because you don't want to like something everyone else does, B) thinks you're too old to have an imagination, or C) has been living under a rock. If you HAVE seen Harry Potter, then I need not explain McGonagall's magnificence any further.

Professor Trelawney.....and Professor Trelawney

That about sums it up...welcome to the world of Shannon's daydreams.

Hurricane Irene

Well, this has been an interesting weekend. After the earthquake earlier in the week, we were expecting an "end of the world" type storm from this Category 3 hurricane...ahem, tropical storm. As most people know by now, that wasn't exactly the case. I'm devastated for the lives lost in NC, VA, and a few other states, but NY didn't get an ounce of that kind of intensity. I'm sure all of the "I'm so hard core 'cause I'm a New Yorker" people who wiped clean every grocery store with their tails between their legs will be ranting about this false alarm for years to come. But you know what? I say better safe than sorry. And it gave everyone a reason to stay home and relax...something rare in the schedules of city slickers. Yesterday, my roommates and I ate our faces off: pasta, chips and salsa, and Nestle Toll House cookies. We also went to the gym downstairs (not sure how much that balanced out all of the carbs we ate...), watched two movies, and revisited every hilarious YouTube video in history. It may not have been the typical NYC weekend, but I personally still had a good time :)

Me, Mallory, Claire, and Brittany at "Karaoke One."

Brittany, Kevin, and I did manage to get out Friday night before the city shut down the following day. Claire, Miss New York 2010, visited from Georgetown and slept over Thursday night, so we went out with her and a few other New York pageant ladies in Union Square on Friday. After a few awesome karaoke performances (the stand out being Mallory, 1st runner up to Miss NY, rapping "Baby's Got Back" flawlessly) and pageant stories from the hilarious Leigh-Taylor, Miss New York 2008, Brit and I met up with my friend Mike. I guess he's my brother's friend, technically, but we've hung out enough that I'm confident in claiming him now. Anyways, he knew someone having a birthday bar crawl in Brooklyn, so the three of us taxied on over and hung out there for a bit. There were no big shenanigans of the night (or as Brit says "Shannanigans"), but that was planned so that I could get a good night's sleep and spend the next day with my family. Of course that was a wash. All Broadway shows were cancelled and the city shut down completely, so my Dad, Jean, and Drew drove home before I even got to see them :( That would've been an amazing weekend.

Today, we're going to explore the "ruins," also known as large puddles, by walking over the Brooklyn Bridge. I wonder if the MTA is working again...probably not. But Starbucks BETTER be open. I can't put into words my disgust when they were closed yesterday morning. Subway and Five Guys were open, but the store that provides the medicine of living was not?? It was just wrong. I need my soy chai. I know, I know, I could feed 20 starving children in Africa with the money I pay for Starbucks every month, but it's become like my water. A source of life, if you will.

I hope everyone reading this in Virginia is safe and enjoying what I hear to be a beautiful Sunday down there. I have to admit, seeing the video of streakers in Virginia Beach during the newscast about the necessity of staying indoors during the storm made me laugh out loud. Gotta love my hometown crazies :-P

The Perfect Dinners

I want you to imagine me lying face down in a green polka dotted dress on my boss's unmade bed with my lower legs hanging off the back. Now imagine my boss in her nightgown with the phone between her chin and shoulder on a call to South Africa while massaging my lower back. This is what I was doing at 1pm yesterday. What you were you doing? Honestly, I thought I'd experienced the height of awkward situations years ago, but this was on a whole new level. I absolutely love her, but when Lynn gets her mind set on something, it HAS to happen or else nothing else will get done the rest of the day. So when I mentioned that my lower back has been hurting and she insisted that she massage it, I knew that my few futile attempts at saying "no" were worthless. I was just laughing into the giant white comforter thinking "there's NO way this is happening. I'm not actually getting a massage from my boss on her bed while she's in her nightgown and on the phone with a South African client." This is real life, people.

What else is real life? That I live a 10 minute walk away from the most AMAZING park in the world: Brooklyn Bridge Park. Two nights ago, Kevin, Brittany, and I had a roommate date in this breathtaking setting. We ate world famous Grimaldi's New York Pizza (best pizza I've ever had...Brittany didn't like the crust...but I'm pretty much obsessed with all of it) on a bench with the Statue of Liberty shining in the distance to our left, the Brooklyn Bridge towering over us on the right, and the Empire State Building, Freedom Tower, and all of Manhattan's famous skyscrapers straight in front of us across the river. Brit and I just kept repeating "there's no way we live here, there's no way we live here." But we do! And we also have the most awesome roommate in the world. Kevin is HILARIOUS. He's Chinese- Cantonese being his first language- but was raised in Australia. Brittany's question of the night: "So did you learn Chinese or Australian first?" Some people call Australian "English," dear Brittany, but good try ;)

We ended up having a Chinese culture lesson. Here are a few things I learned about Chinese food that I never wanted to know: 1. They eat dogs, not cats, 2. They eat baby ducks that are about to hatch by boiling them in their egg and then eating the ENTIRE grown fetus (I called him a sick, sick baby duck murderer the rest of the night), and 3. Lobsters scream when they're boiled. So maybe that last one isn't strictly Chinese, but either way, I don't like it. I don't know the anatomy of a lobster's vocal chords or if it's really just the shell steaming, but anyone with a working moral compass who puts a live animal in a boiling pot of water and then hears screaming should find that experience extremely disturbing.

After that lovely dinnertime conversation, we got ice cream and walked the path along the river. The weather was flawless (unlike this weekend when we're supposed to get a category 2 hurricane...) and everything was perfect. I couldn't have asked for a better night. It was followed up by an EQUALLY perfect night last night with Jim, Lindsay, and Lindsay's two older brothers. Andrew, her oldest bro, lives in South Africa (that place seems to be coming up a lot in this post) and Chris lives in VA, so we absolutely had to get together with both in town. The sibling dinner was an inexplicable amount of fun. First, we grabbed drinks on the patio of a cute little restaurant in Brooklyn, where I got to hear Chris's account of his proposal (he got engaged two weeks ago!) and gush over how amazing it was. Between him and my own brother, they really know how to do it right! We also had the pleasure of my white wine being spilled all over the table by the waiter. Lindsay shrieked as though a sewer rat had just crawled up her leg, then in her haste, knocked over another glass full of water. Definitely a memorable moment...at least Andrew's iphone that was on the table was salvageable.

After drinks, we went back to Jim and Lindsay's, where Linds made gourmet pesto pasta. Dinner was a riot. We all sat around the dining room table telling stories (like the boss massage) and cracking up to the point of tears...well, at least for me. I always cry when I laugh. It's so annoying. Though I did get Andrew to spit out some of his red wine when describing a hilarious incident at work. The night was one that nobody wanted to see end, but responsibility called, so I left at 10:30 to get home and to bed. Right after crawling under the covers (actually just the sheet...us poo' folk don't leave the A.C. on overnight), I received a pleasant goodnight present when one of my best guy friends who I don't get to talk to very often called. I've mentioned him on here before, actually- Smithers, from Busch Gardens. He always puts me in a good mood, so I slept well after catching up :)

Well, back to the grind at work today...or as K-dog/Aussie roommate likes to say, "another day, another dollar." (Insert Australian accent)

Oh, I forgot to mention: I was mistaken. The view from our bedroom window is downtown Manhattan, not downtown Brooklyn. You'd think I could have figured that out based on the Empire State Building staring at me...check out this sunset from our window:

Barbie & Teresa Take NY

Today is the day. My fabulous roommate Brittany gets her own blog post!

Brittany and I have known "of" each other for years, with every mutual friend telling us that we'd be great friends if we spent time together...um, YES. We first spent a little time around each other at the Miss Virginia 2011 annual workshop for contestants in April at the fancy Hotel Roanoke. Brit (Miss Greater Richmond), Elizabeth (Miss Arlington and now the current Miss VA!), Lindsay (Miss Roanoke Valley), and myself (Miss Greater Hampton Roads) stayed up until 2 or 3am being absolutely ridiculous in Elizabeth's hotel room. That night, I caught a glimpse of Brittany's weirdness...one of my favorite qualities someone can have...and her genuinely kind spirit. The four of us were all Miss VA veterans with a true desire to win this year, but we were able to see the other ladies in the room as friends rather than competitors. The three of them went to JMU and had developed friendships while at school, but Elizabeth and I have become very close friends over the years in the Miss Virginia Organization, so that's how I ended up being a part of that little sleepover. Brittany and Lindsay immediately made me feel comfortable and included when Elizabeth was in the shower and such. After those few hours together, I knew Miss Virginia week in June would be an amazing bonding experience with those ladies. [Picture: Brittany and me at orientation the first morning of Miss Virginia week]

Boy was I right. Since Brittany and I both had titles starting with "Miss Greater," we ended up being next to each other at virtually every event and in all of the production dances. We made as many ridiculous faces as possible on stage without the judges seeing and spent the whole week making each other laugh. On the final night, we were both called into the top 5, along with Elizabeth and Lindsay! What a special moment to share with the girls who had experienced that memorable sleepover at workshop during the beginning of our Miss VA 2011 journey. And I loved the fifth member of the top 5, Courtney, too! At the end of the night, Brit was 4th runner up, I was 3rd runner up, Lindsay was 2nd runner up, and Elizabeth walked away with the crown! The ending was bittersweet for both Brittany and myself, but as our friendship has developed in the past few months, we're able to look back on that poignant moment and see the purpose in the outcome. Watching one of my best friends within the Miss Virginia Organization, Elizabeth, get crowned by one of my other best friends within the Miss Virginia Organization, Miss Virginia 2010 Katie Uze, was an extraordinary moment. Topping it off was knowing that my new close friend, Brittany, was standing right beside me. [Top picture: Brit and I walking onto the stage on the final night of competition, Bottom picture: Top 5 from left to right- me, Elizabeth, Lindsay, Brittany, and Courtney]

Before competing, Elizabeth and I had decided to move to New York to pursue singing if neither of us won. When she had that shiny hat on her head at the end of the night, I realized I'd lost my future roommate! Throughout that week, though, Brittany had mentioned her interest in pursuing music in the big City, as well. So when I received an email from my cousin a week after the pageant telling me about a Broadway audition coming up, I immediately called Brit and asked if she wanted to fly to New York for 24 hours to attend a one in a thousand chance audition. Brittany spontaneously left her family vaca and spent eight hours with me sitting on newspapers on the streets of NYC in the sweltering summer heat. After only a few hours of sleep at my brother's apartment the night before (due to our midnight exploration of Brooklyn in search of food), you can imagine eight hours in the sun was stress-inducing. That whole experience revealed our ability to be compatible in the most uncomfortable of conditions. It also revealed that our strange personalities mesh when we get loopy. She started making weird breathing/squealing sounds and I started talking an accent of sorts. Our new friends in line thought we were headcases, but we stayed in our happy bubble without hesitation or fear of judgement. [Picture: Brit and I waiting for the audition in NYC]

Just a week and a half later, Brittany and I were joined by fellow Miss VA contestant, Amanda, on a road trip to Pittsburgh, PA for the American Idol auditions. This time, we spent four full days in impossibly close conditions. The actual day of auditions was one of more waiting (14 HOURS!!), heat, exhaustion, and stress that resulted in no issues among any of us. I don't normally have issues with my friends, so I wasn't surprised or anything. Even still, I found it impressive that in moments of impatience and mental breakdowns, Brittany and I always found a way to be understanding of the other person. Instead of getting offended if one of us was cranky, we both realized what the other person was feeling and just let it roll off our backs. When we returned from PA, the two of us spent the Saturday night out in Richmond and solidified our decision to move to New York. [Picture above: Brit and I standing in front of the Pittsburgh skyline, Picture below: Amanda, Brit, and I waiting for the American Idol audition]

With her uncanny ability to mock any female singer (my personal favorite being Cher, though her Jessica Simpson and Alanis Morissette are right up there), innocent and natural good looks (did I mention she was one of two swimsuit winners at Miss Virginia? Yeah. So hot. The other winner was my roommate during pageant week...experiencing waking up next to both of the best bods in Virginia doesn't do much for your self-confidence. Haha just kidding! Kind of..), and expressive personality, Brittany is one of the most lovable people you'll ever come across. More people in the world need to emulate her open-book policy. She's always honest, wears her heart on her sleeve, and evaluates her attitude to adjust and become an even better friend/daughter/girlfriend (lucky Matt!)/mentor. I'm SO excited to share this new journey with such a unique, talented, and newly-devoted friend.[Picture: Our night out in Richmond after American Idol]

And check out our amazingly large room that can fit two giant beds! Can you believe we live here???

Geraldine's Wedding

I don't know how I'm awake right now. I got up at 5am yesterday to take the Fung Wah Chinatown bus to Boston for my friend Geraldine's wedding. I didn't want to spend money on a hotel, so I took the bus back to NY after the reception at 11pm. Needless to say, I didn't get home and to sleep until about 4am. Yet somehow I woke up at 9am this morning...and I'm one of those people who needs my solid 8-9 hours a night. The trip was worth the lack of sleep, though!

Geraldine was the musical director of Songs For a New World, the musical I performed in last October (see "19 Days Until Take Off," written in July, for video...Geraldine is the little head at the front of the stage bobbing around while playing piano/directing). She came to the States from France to study piano performance at Western Michigan University, then received her doctorate in piano from Boston University. She is hands down the MOST talented pianist and musical director I've ever worked with. We really bonded when we did the show in 2010, but became even better friends after the show closed. Every week, we would use yelp.com to find a lunch spot in Virginia Beach where neither of us had been to. Her advice and support became a staple in my weekly life, so when she and Stuart (her hubby) moved to Rhode Island in April, I was so sad! I haven't seen her since then, so there was no way I could miss her wedding- even if it was following my first exhausting full week in NYC. She only had one bridesmaid, so I sort of became a pseudo-member of the wedding party and spent the whole day by her side! The amount of time we got to spend catching up was a pleasant surprise.

Unfortunately, as fun as the trip was, my feet were a real source of distraction. Those stupid blisters from last Tuesday have turned into the most painful sores EVER. Sorry if this picture is too gross for some of you, but I got bored and took a photo. They may not look that terrible, but I can't wear any sort of shoe that has a back, which is obnoxious considering I walk everywhere. I think the right one is infected, too, 'cause my whole heel feels like it's about to fall off whenever I take a step or apply any pressure on that foot. Thank goodness for Miss VA swimsuit shoes that can be positioned to have no strap on the back! They saved my life at the wedding.

A bad habit of mine came to light this weekend, too. I really need to stop giving out my number so freely. When guys ask, I feel guilty/awkward if I say no, so I give it to them and then ignore them the next day when they text and say "Hey it's so-and-so from last night." I got a text message from a random number last night saying "Hey Shannon! It's Brad! Sorry I didn't call you sooner- how was your first week in NYC?" Um, who's Brad? I haven't been given my number out in forever and he seemed to know me somewhat well. Thus, Adam (Geraldine's friend I hung out with the whole time at the wedding) and I decided I should play it cool and see if I could figure out Brad's identity through carefully worded questions. I eventually lost patience and still had no clue who this guy was, so I just fessed up and told him that I didn't remember him. Thank goodness he ended up not being anyone super important...just the bartender I met with Lindsay last Friday night who performs for Disney Cruise lines. I forgot I'd given him my number so that we could network with auditions and stuff. But I think he thought I was weird for carrying on a normal text convo for an hour before admitting that I don't know him. Oh well. Either way, I need to start only giving my numbers to people I find important enough to remember...

Tonight I'm heading to Jim and Lindsay's for pork chops and relaxation. Also, Brittany officially moves in at midnight! Let another week of madness begin.

Miss VA Interview Snipits

I received the DVD of my Miss Virginia private interview in the mail the other week, so tonight I decided to re-watch it in hopes of learning how to improve my public speaking skills. While watching, I realized it could be fun to expand on a couple of topics that were brought up in that interview. So, here are a few videos of specific questions within that 10 minute interview with additional thoughts underneath (sorry the quality is so poor...being the computer genius I am, I videotaped the DVD with my camera...). I didn't necessarily choose the ones I answered the best because many of those were rather political and boring. Instead, I chose the ones that I found most interesting/silly and pageant stereotypical/personal (in respective order below).

1. Why are teenagers afraid to stand out?

Birds of a feather flock together. It's the way we are made. You can't alter instinct, but you can decide to step outside your comfort zone. We have to make the effort to open ourselves to people we aren't naturally drawn to or else we're missing out on life lessons and possible friendships. Even though the commonalities between every single person in this world are overwhelming and even comforting, you can't ignore basic differences. I think it's silly to say things like "I don't see color" or "I'm not prejudice at all." Everyone sees color (EVEN the color blind) and everyone is prejudice, which means you have an initial reaction to someone based on their physical appearance. What makes us not racist or sexist is taking conscious control of that initial prejudice.

To get a little technical for a moment, the amygdala is part of your brain that conditions your impulses based on prior experiences. For example, if you are conditioned to think a tall, muscular African-American male approaching you is a scary encounter (based on T.V., stories, etc.), your amygdala will immediately trigger an emotional response in accordance with what you've been exposed to. In many senses, the amygdala is useful in keeping us from danger or having recurring negative interactions. What we have to be careful of, however, is deciphering if our amygdala has been conditioned properly. Is it appropriate to avoid a large group of similar-looking people based on one bad interaction or a second-hand story? The first step in overcoming prejudice is recognizing that having preconceived notions is natural. From there, we can make suitable decisions based on the reality of distinct situations.

So, as the Miss Virginia judge asked, why are teenagers afraid to stand out? Because they are comfortable in their little flocks. If a person looks drastically different from his or her naturally chosen click (most often based on race and/or socio-economic status), he/she is more likely to endure scrutiny or encounter negative interactions in a less-explored social group. Neither of those things sound particularly appealing, especially to a developing adolescent. Oh, and if you're wondering where the whole amygdala discussion came from, that's one of the few lessons I retained from my Psychology major days.

2. Is Sarah Palin going to be our next President?

No. I just decided this needs no further explanation.

3. Will you be able to handle the job of Miss Virginia that requires extended periods of time away from family and friends?

Much of what I'd like to extend on with this video has already been touched on in my blog, so I'll make it quick. In terms of Miss Virginia, holding a position that entails a lot of alone time requires a woman who is comfortable with her own thoughts. In the grand scheme of things, we all have trials and tribulations that either make us or break us. The more you let those ordeals teach you, shape you, and prepare you, the more peace you find within yourself. I really believe that's why many elders are wise and calm- they've grown into a deep peace through lessons learned from each trial along the way. The older we get, the more peace we can attain due to further exposure to difficulties. There are two kinds of people who've "been through a lot": the ones who are a little batty and seem out of control, and the ones who have an aura of understanding and serenity. I truly believe that we must decide to make peace with ourselves through every painful experience in order to become a better version of ourselves day by day, year by year, and decade by decade. If we don't, we'll build up a never-ending list of failures and heartbreak that will lead to a life of pills and self-deprecation.

I hope some of these thoughts were relatable and useful in everyone's similar journeys through life :) And I hope the Sarah Palin question brought a smile to your face...WHY does every pageant interview seem to demand an answer to that question?? Honestly, I don't think Sarah Palin nor Hilary Clinton will be our first female president. Get over it.

Flip Cup

Why are my bosses cuter than I am? My direct boss is Lynn, President of the company. The CEO, Debora, flew in from Texas today. They are both 30+ years older than me, yet have the sickest bodies ever. Debora was getting ready for a night out on the town when the day was coming to a close and I only WISH I had legs like hers. Motivation to wake up for the gym in the morning. Ew. But on that note, I've reallyyyy got to get the post Miss VA weight gain under control or else I won't be able to fit into my jeans come fall. That gives me, what, four weeks to lose 10 pounds? Totally doable. 'Cause let's be honest...it's less about how I look and more about the fact that I can't afford new jeans. Inspiration at its finest.

Aside from envying my bosses' hot bods, work has been super busy this week. One minute I'm managing the website or developing social networking, the next I'm running credit cards and filing invoices, and the next I'm running to STAPLES to make labels. Today I even made a protein shake and did the dishes in Lynn's kitchen. Never a dull moment! Wait, that's not true. It can be a tad dull peeling labels when we're in a crunch and I'm needed as extra hands for manual labor...but even then I have to answer the phones and take random breaks to write follow-up emails/help Lynn out on the computer. I never get tired of feeling like a computer genius when in reality, I'm about as dumb as they come in the geek department (at least in the computer sense...). But for those seven hours a day, I'm the smartest in the room! Go me!

Since I haven't seen my brother the whole time I've lived here (over a week now!), I met him and Lindsay after work at a dive bar near me in Brooklyn. They go there every Thursday with their kickball team (awesome) and play flip cup, unbeknownst to me. I expected to go and relax at the bar, drink water...maybe wine if I was feeling feisty, and have catch-up convo. Instead, I walked into what looked like a college party with people in matching clothes, drinking games, and lots of chanting. Not to mention everyone was pretty gross (me included) since it was raining outside. Even though I don't like beer, nor did I get very involved, I had a blast. I did play a few rounds of flip cup...which I HATE, by the way, because I get really stressed that I'm letting down my team if I can't get the stupid cup to flip upside down like it's supposed to. No wonder I didn't go to very many parties at CNU. Even so, I managed to keep up with my team and not embarrass myself too much...though a few people corrected my technique. SORRY I'm not the best at flipping a plastic cup onto a picnic table. Not judging people that are great at it...maybe I'm jealous. But still, if I'm not good by age 23 and a college graduate, I never will be. Let it be noted, however, that I was better than some of those people who play every Thursday night. Pretty proud about that :-P

Before heading home at 9 o'clock with Jim and Linds (work night!), we did get to chat for a bit. My older brother is such a gem. He really believes in me and wants to see my dreams come true. He gave me so much advice in terms of setting goals and not losing sight of singing. I know so many people, as does he, who move to New York in pursuit of performing, yet they get caught up in simply paying rent and becoming comfortable. Jim wants to make sure that I make the time to actually go to auditions, take classes, and make this dream come to life. I'm so grateful to have him around to kickstart me when basic survival sounds more appealing than focusing on my long-term goal of singing for a living.

As much as he loves me, though, I'm still his little sister who embarrasses the crap out of him. We were riding the train home from the bar and I lost my balance (what else is new), so I grabbed onto the nearest thing. It happened to be a middle-aged woman's shirt...more specifically, her bra strap. Why me??? It even snapped when I let go, which led Jim to die a little inside from humiliation. Thank goodness the lady was so cool about it! But Jimbo was mortified, obviously. Whatever- he's obligated to still love me. At least Lindsay laughed it off with me since the train was disgustingly crowded and everybody saw it happen (of course). What a good soon to be sister-in-law!

As successful as I've been in my new job and all around life this first week, I'm SO ready for the week to be over! Saturday I'll be traveling to Boston for a close friend's wedding! Should be a blast.

P.S.- I went grocery shopping for the second time and they had Velveeta Shells & Cheese in stock! You better believe I grabbed the large majority of those bad boys. I know they're in high demand and I refuse to be left high and dry.

 

Definitely will help me with fitting into my jeans, right?

Bad Shoes, Deep Thoughts

OUUUCCHHHH! My feet hurt so bad. I got the worst blisters in the entire world today. Note to self: Jellies (for you boys reading these, they're bendy plastic shoes) are not conducive to walking around the City. These blisters weren't small dime-size developments. Rather, they were..are...the size of a dollar coin (which I have four of in my purse..thanks a lot military boys who left them as a tip when I was a waitress) on each heel. Not only did they develop as I was walking, they then popped and left me with the joy of raw skin rubbing against slippery plastic. This wonderful experience reached its peak while I was running to the post office for my boss, so I ended up asking the mail guy if he had any Band-Aides for my walk back. Pretty sure he found me super amusing after he rummaged through his personal drawer and found two mondo Band-Aides and I exclaimed "YOU JUST SAVED MY LIFE!!" He laughed and said he was happy to assist. New friend? Possibly. Thank goodness my boss has big feet like me and lent me flip flops for my journey home! They're actually super cute. I think we may have to share shoes more often :-P

The subway rides were a welcome means of transportation in light of my foot predicament. Today I even got to sit next to two attractive men in suits! Of course, they were cancelled out by the talkative man who travels around the country as an accountant for comic book conventions. Fifteen minutes of hearing about the cast of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (minus the famous people) signing autographs, the pains of working 80 hour weeks, and his best friend's little sister's brother-in-law's old English teacher's favorite student's cousin who used to like to do musicals. Wow! So much in common! Ugh, why can't the men in suits talk to me? Oh, 'cause they're not socially awkward. That's right. They're either listening to their ipods or reading the newspaper. FML.

It's funny because although I have relatively free evenings, I can't bring myself to do much more than watch the last season of The Bachelorette on Hulu. Even when I worked at Busch Gardens full time in 2009, I never felt as drained as I do from this office job. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my days in Lynn's (my boss) at-home office in her giant, breathtaking apartment that only the elite in NY can afford. It's kind of fun to be introduced as "the new Courtney" to all of the bellmen and delivery guys and neighbors, not to mention Lynn is an absolute hoot and we work surprisingly well together. That being said, office work is a lot more mind-numbing than singing in front of thousands of people. I guess that's why one is a job and one is my potential career.

Sitting in my room during the evenings gives me a lot of time to think. I miss everyone, for sure, but I have a strong sense that I am where I'm supposed to be. A lot of things are put into perspective when you separate yourself from a repetitive environment. Certain friendships become even more clearly important, others can be seen for what they were- a product of convenience or emotion or momentary commonality. Evaluating the weight of past romantic relationships is also inevitable as you discover their overall impact on who you are now. My most recent relationship was with someone who remains my standard as to how I want the chemistry to be with anyone new, and the relationship before that will always be important in how it taught me the necessity of being courted. My long relationship that ended in December has proven to be a friendship that has outlasted anyone's wildest dreams; he has managed to become a positive involvement in my life on a weekly basis. In a negative sense, I gave another guy I dated the benefit of the doubt and have since understood that not all people are good. They will use you for momentary comfort and throw you to the wolves. The clarity I've gained in one week is revitalizing. I miss the familiarity and history of those relationships and friendships, but I'm ready to start fresh and hold on only to the people who were truly positive influences on my life. I don't say that in a way that makes me bitter towards those I need to move on from, rather in a way that understands friendships/relationships are not always what they seem at the time.

Looking at the thousands of lights streaming through windows in all of the skyscrapers (the picture is exactly what I see when I look to my right as I type), I realize that I am just one of those little yellow boxes in the side of a building. I don't know who is sitting inside each other little yellow box, who they're with, what they're going through, where they came from, or why they live in this crazy place. Isn't it mind-boggling to think of all the people in this world? All we really know is what we, as individuals, experience every moment. That's why friendships and relationships are so beautiful- they allow two beings to catch a glimpse of what it means to be someone other than "me." No matter how close we are to someone, though, we'll never know the world through any eyes but our own. I think this is where I find the excitement in building relationships with people. There's always a new way to think, a lesson to learn, a surprise to behold. Those who I've had the pleasure (or not) to build relationships with in my past are invaluble gurus in the journey of my life. I can't wait to find out who will find their way into my future.

Oh, and for the record, there are a LOT more relationships I'm holding onto than letting go of, so don't think you're someone I don't want to keep in my life if I haven't called you and you're reading this! I just get bad cell reception in my room so I can only call people on my walks to/from work. Guaranteed: the one or two people who I realize don't have my best interests in mind probably aren't the ones reading this, anyway!

Planes, Trains, & Wedge Heels

Today was my first day of work. As mentioned in an earlier post, I am an administrative assistant for a small skin care company located in the Upper East Side. One of the reasons I finally settled on my move here was because of the serendipitous event of meeting my now boss on a plane about a month ago. I came to NYC for an open audition for the Broadway revival of the musical Godspell and, instead of leaving with a starring role on Broadway, left with a perfect job opportunity. We happened to sit next to each other on the plane from Philly to LaGuardia...both barely making the flight, only to be grounded for two hours before actually taking off. After chatting for a while, I eventually asked what she did for a living. Turns out she is a chemist and founder of the first at-home microdermabrasion skin care formula. I use Clean & Clear face wash and that's about it (unless I find something even cheaper on sale), so naturally this was the perfect fit..? Okay, not exactly. But she had learned so much in the time we spent talking about my dream to sing in New York that she is willing for me to miss days here and there for auditions/create certain hours surrounding possible music opportunities. Having landed such an ideal job for such a successful, supportive woman was the final "sign" that I needed to make this move to NYC come to life. Not to mention I've upgraded my skin care with her product samples!

Making your way to work in the Big Apple requires a subway ride- at least for most people. I have about a 45 minute commute between walking and the train. I'm lucky in that I don't have to transfer trains; I simply hop on the F and wait a half hour. Waiting on a train is not like waiting in your car during rush hour or some other secluded experience, however. No, no. Riding the train is one of the strangest things you can experience. Lindsay mentioned that subway culture is like riding on a giant awkward elevator, but never did that ring as true as today's commute to work. I've ridden the NY trains tons of times during my visits, but usually those visits were on weekends...not during the sardine-packed hours of a weekday morning. Even when my visit rides were a little sardine-y, I was so consumed with where I was heading that I didn't soak in my surroundings. First of all, nobody speaks. Giant, moving elevator. Second of all, I have the balance of a lopsided dradle, so you can imagine how well I handle myself. On top of it, you try not to make eye contact with anyone, but anywhere you look, there are people! Thus, you're always staring at someone- and they ALWAYS catch you..I promise- unless you close your eyes or read the newspaper.

So here I was, on my way to work for a woman who liked me a month ago, and everyone around me was shifting back and forth at the same time with either their eyes closed or pretending like they could focus on a newspaper when we all know it's way too jerky of a ride to read more than one sentence per 12 minutes. I wasn't ready to embrace the eyes-closed look, nor did I have a paper, so I resorted to being Miss Shifty-Eyes. I saw an assortment of strange things. First, a good-looking guy with gelled brown hair, a nice blazer, fitted jeans, and...FOUR INCH WEDGES? Yeah, he definitely caught me staring a couple times. Here was this perfectly normal looking young man wearing high heels. Welcome to NY. You know what, though, if he was going to rock wedges, he could've at least found a cuter pair. Granted, he probably doesn't have much of a selection in a size 13 men's. As I scanned for something- ANYTHING!- to get my eyes off wedge-meister, I saw a dude with 83 tattoos and long black hair in a leather vest, jeans, a skull bandana, and nothing else. Sitting next to him was a middle-aged man in a designer suit. The contrast was astounding. There is no doubt that I looked like a lost puppy on this train of misfit toys...erm, residents, but I'm hoping no one noticed among the eyes-closed, noses-in-newspapers crowd.

Work itself was good. There's no extraordinary story to tell, but I can say that I felt computer savvy for the first time in my life. Lesson learned: you will eventually push the right button. My brains were sucked out of me by the white screen, but I made money! Mission complete. More than that, I learned that I really like my boss, the product we sell is actually pretty impressive, and you can accomplish anything if you are determined enough to complete the task.

More good news! Brit-Brit found a job during her 24 hour visit! She starts work at a real estate company on Monday! I can't wait for her to get back :) Also, I sold my car! More money in savings, less for me to have to worry about as far as obligations left in Virginia. 

I am SO glad today was a success! Now, I need to get to the gym so I can go to bed at a reasonable hour and do it all over again tomorrow!

[Picture: Brittany and I on our couch during her short visit!]

Confidence vs. Pride

A few nights into my adventure, I'm happier than ever that I made the decision to move here. The past few days have been a blast. Thursday night Tess and I (along with Tess's friend Anna) had a Glee Project marathon, yesterday I went on a long walk in the beautiful park next to my building, and last night I had Happy Hour martinis with Lindsay (my brother's fiance) and then hung out with Jacob (my brother's best friend). Having Tess, Linds, and Jake here is so comforting. I can't wait for my bro to get back in town so I can see him, too!

Something Lindsay said last night was very thought-provoking. We were talking about relationships and her wedding and how absurdly excited I am for them when I said "ugh, I just want to have something like you and Jim have." We continued to talk about how everybody always says that you shouldn't care about finding someone when you're only 23, but I told Lindsay that I just don't think that's true. Obviously I'm very happy being single, but it's really not that crazy or desperate to admit that I'd like to be with someone. Of course I would never settle just so I can be in a relationship, but it's very natural to desire a companion. That's the way we're made...particularly women. I'm not out looking for Mr. Right, but I'm not going to lie and say that I'm not hopeful I'll eventually meet someone. This whole "you are insecure if you need a man" thing is hogwash. I'm very secure in who I am. That's when Linds said "Shanny, you're probably one of the most confident-in a good way- girls I know. But I think there's a difference between having confidence in yourself and taking pride in yourself. You need to take pride in yourself." I thought that statement was extremely interesting and very true.

As we talked further, I realized that I like who I am as a person, but I'm not necessarily proud of my accomplishments and my life as a whole. I used to get embarrassed to tell people I was a waitress because it seemed "low grade" for a college graduate, I make fun of myself for having a Psychology degree, I am not building a normal career in NY...I'm one of a million starving singers, I try not to mention the pageant thing too much for fear of being laughed at, and I tend to think that people- and men- don't take me seriously. I know that's not true because guys just want to date someone who is moving forward and trying to achieve something. They don't particularly care if a girl has some fantastic job or makes a lot of money; that's something women put more weight on, I think. Not saying I'm a gold digger, just saying women are attracted to men who can support them. Instinct. Anyways, I loved that Lindsay made me think about all of this because people who are close to you can see things you need to work on more than you can. I'm so glad she's going to be my sister! And the conversation reminded me that every single one of my exes said to me "I'm so proud of you" when I said my goodbyes to them before New York. To me, that shows what Lindsay said was crucial in my success here. I have to find the pride that they all felt for this move myself. Not only will that pride be more attractive to the people I meet, but it will ultimately bring me deeper contentment.

After my enlightening Happy Hour with Linds, she gave me a tour of where she works. I won't give particular details online, but all I can say is that I'M SO JEALOUS. She's the executive assistant to one of the most powerful women in fashion...think of the movie Devil Wears Prada. I know she has to work her butt off, but man the office is cool! There are clothing samples everywhere and giant fancy offices with unreal views and everything that Hollywood tries to recreate. I was blown away. I was also a little tipsy, so I was touching all of the clothes that haven't even been released yet for a Spring 2012 collection because it seemed so cool. It was very cool, but looking back, the mango martini probably added to the cool factor. It seriously seemed like the most exciting place in the world.

After that, we headed over to Jacob and Justin's apartment where Jacob made me fried eggs and turkey and I, in turn, spilled his red wine everywhere. Just another Friday night. WHY do I have to be so clumsy?? We had a great night staying in and chatting...even though all the guys thought I was stupid for like, 5 minutes because I sarcastically said "Raise your hand if you love socialism!" during a political talk, but apparently my sarcasm didn't come across because 5 minutes later Jake was like "Wait, so Shannon, you think socialism is more proficient than democracy?" OH MY GOSH. No. No, I don't. They had all gotten so awkward when I said that, so I'm glad he cleared it up. I need to work on my sarcasm...something I never thought I'd say considering most of what comes out of my mouth is sarcastic.

Getting home this morning revealed a darker side to the city. The train I needed to transfer on wasn't running due to maintenance, so it ended up taking me almost two hours. I won't go into grueling details, but let's just say I really miss being able to hop in a car when I'm not feeling well and want to get somewhere. Tonight I'm heading over to Jim and Lindsay's place for pasta and The Proposal! Ah, another night in paradise ;)

Day One

I'm currently sitting in my bed listening to the busy street outside my giant window on the 21st floor. I'm already in love with New York. When I look outside, I see skyscrapers, tons of people walking around, and taxis everywhere. The energy is simply incredible. So is my apartment! The room I'm sharing with Brittany is gorgeous with it's light hardwood floors and huge window that lets in so much sun that turning on a light would seem ridiculous during the daytime. We can easily fit two queen beds in here, along with a keyboard, desk, and eventually a shelf structure, which I'm taking from my best friend so that Brit and I have somewhere to put our clothes. I mean, we have a pretty big closet, but we're talking about two girls who love fashion and dressing up sharing one room. We need some major storage space. [Picture: my life packed in two suitcases before leaving for the bus station in Va Beach]

When I first arrived yesterday, my roommate Kevin let me in at 6am, bless his heart, and showed me my room. Minutes later, after making my bed with sheets that don't fit quite right, I was passed out. I do NOT do well sleeping upright on an overnight bus. I thought a glass of wine and some Tylenol PM would do the trick, but not so much. When I woke up, I had about 10 missed calls/texts from everyone I had said I'd text as soon as I arrived. Woops. After letting my parents/friends know I was alive, I started unpacking. Rearranging the room so that Brittany can fit her bed in here when she arrives next week was really easy. Figuring out where to put all my junk was not. I think I brought too much...but with the windowsill as an extra shelf, I managed to find a home for everything and still leave half of every space for Brit. Success!

Around noon, I met up with Tess (best friend since 3rd grade) for lunch. Turns out we are a 10 minute walk from one another! How perfect. I didn't even know when I found the place that it was so close to her. We grabbed some super cheap and delicious Thai food- my fav- and then went grocery shopping! No Farm Fresh or Harris Teeter around these parts. Not to fear, though, because I still got my essentials: Honey Bunches of Oats, peanut butter, and canned tuna. Biggest let down was that they were all out of Velveeta Shells & Cheese. I WILL fight someone if they plan on buying all of my Velveeta mac before I can get to it each week.

While walking around the neighborhood, I learned a couple of things: 1.) This place will be great for my self-esteem. A group of girls walked past me today and one said "Wow, you have pretty eyes"...um, thanks! Another guy said "You're beautiful" as I was strolling along with my hair in a greasy pony tail and un-showered from the whole bus ride. Last time I visited, someone on the train asked if I was a model. I have no idea why the compliments seem to flow around here, but I'll take it. 2.) There are ice cream trucks EVERYWHERE. They post up and tempt you with soft serve (choc/vanilla twist, please!) and milkshakes as if it'd be a good thing for everyone in New York to be obese. That's a really terrible idea simply because I've noticed there is already zero space on the trains. Even so, I treated myself to a chocolate shake as a welcome present. Won't be doing that again for a long time, though...it pretty much cost me my entire daily food budget. 3.) I'm no longer one of the tall girls. They're everywhere. I'm only 5'7'' and I used to feel giant in VA. Hellooooo NY models. They may weight half as much as I do, but at least I can wear heels around here without feeling like I'm on stilts.

Later in the evening, Tess and I went to an outdoor movie in Williamsburg- the super young, hipster area of Brooklyn. I had SO much fun! First of all, the movie was Jurassic Park..probably one of the best movies of its time. Not to mention we were under the stars in a beautiful park with 5,000 other people our age. And the crowd was HILARIOUS. I found it hysterical that the field would erupt with cheers everytime a dinosaur ate someone or a new famous character came onscreen. The excitement was ridiculous, but amazing. Also amazing: a shooting star flew right over us!

I can tell already that this is one of the best places to live in the world. People who don't know it well may think it's stuffy or overcrowded, but when you find your little corner, it's beautiful. There's a giant park in my neighborhood where people are always playing frisbee or running, from my building I can see the Manhattan Bridge crossing the East River that leads into the most famous, inspirational skyline in existence, and each street has character and something new to try. So now I'm off to go on a run (okay, a walk/run...I'm super out of shape) and explore a little more before another fun night with Tess! [Picture: the view from my room]

You Only Live Once

Tonight's the big night. I leave for New York City. To describe what I feel would be impossible...somewhere in between excited and terrified. I know I'll be okay, but jumping into such a different world is really overwhelming. As I've been packing and saying my goodbyes, I've realized more and more that this isn't just some small adventure like dog sledding or going off to college. I'm starting my life and moving somewhere indefinitely. Not only am I making a permanent move, I'm making a permanent move to the most expensive place in the world that requires a head first, fast pace lifestyle. Thank goodness I've been there enough to know I'll love it. I guess it's just all the stress of moving that starts to make the whole thing seem insane.

Unfortunately, I didn't get to say bye to every single person I would have liked to in Virginia, but I did do some pretty good work in the goodbye department (if I do say so myself). Last weekend was for my D.C. friends, Friday night was dedicated to Jen, Mike, Rich, and the crew that I met in January, Saturday I went to lunch with Neil and then out with Stephanie (Miss VA girlfriend) and her sorority sisters, Sunday I had a goodbye dinner with friends from work, and yesterday I went up to Richmond to say bye to George, then down to Williamsburg to spend some time with one of my best friends from Busch Gardens, Smithers. I'm pooped, but SO glad I was able to see SO many people who mean SO much to me. [Picture: Neil, me, Kenon, and Ashley after my work-people + Neil goodbye dinner on Sunday]

With no more time to say goodbyes, I had to finish packing/figuring out my plans today. Thank goodness it looks like my Aussie roommate is a great guy, cause he's going to let me into our place at 7am tomorrow morning and help me get a bit settled before he takes off for work. I know the apartment is going to be absolutely stunning since it overlooks downtown Brooklyn and is in a great area, so that will be really fun to finally see in person. It will be even MORE fun when my fabulous roommate, Brittany, moves in in a week and a half! I'd tell you more about her, but she deserves her own blog post, so I'll wait until the time is right to write about her amazingness.

Anyways, sorry I'm brain dead from all of the busyness. I know this post is super short and not very entertaining...maybe it's also because I'm starving and I shut down when I need food (very similar to a four year old- without food and sleep, I'm VERY cranky). None-the-less, I wanted to write something because in 2 1/2 hours, Neil will be picking me up and taking me to the bus station! Let my new life begin. They say you only live once...well, here goes! 

Chick Flicks

Here's the skinny: I hate chick flicks.

Okay, that's a blatant lie. I love watching chick flicks. But I really can't stand the cliche "it always works out in the end" thing. I think that's why I like "My Best Friend's Wedding." They don't end up together...that's WAY closer to the truth than the rest of them! I'm not completely bitter and stupid enough to say that deep happiness in relationships doesn't exist (I have examples of those relationships in my life), but I'm definitely at a stage where I feel like throwing popcorn at the screen when they play "Hey, Soul Sister" at the end of a movie to provoke warm, fuzzy feelings while the couple makes out in front of the empire state building or some other place that is way too public.

You might be wondering where this is all coming from. I saw "Crazy Stupid Love" last night and "Friends With Benefits" tonight. Double wammy. Let me start by saying both are fantastic chick flicks and I recommend them to any girl who wants to get a good laugh, stare at Ryan Gosling and Justin Timberlake without shirts on, and hate on the leading ladies for being too skinny. However, both movies (as in most chick flicks) portray a love that is based on one person changing his/her mind about not wanting a relationship because another person all of a sudden rocks their world and magically makes them into perfect long-term mate material. THIS IS SO STUPID. I'm sorry, no guy will get into a relationship with you if he is anti-relationships. Learned that the hard way...three times. You think you'll be that girl who changes his mind: wrong. Individuals will only get in a relationship if they WANT to be in a relationship...at least a part of them. I'm sure some people may try to argue this statement, but it's irrefutable. Maybe you can be with someone who doesn't want a relationship for a short while because you get along and have common interests, but after 2 1/2 months (yes, I've had enough experience to know that about 75 days is usually the breaking point), that person will start freaking out that they're in something they weren't ready for and they will leave. I promise you. My advice? Don't get involved with the following people: someone who is starting his career, someone who is moving, someone who still talks to his ex all the time, someone who goes to the gym for more than one hour a day, or someone who won't call you his girlfriend after you've been exclusive for over a month. No, I am not talking about one particular bad experience. This is a combination list.

Don't get me wrong. Just because a guy doesn't want a relationship doesn't make him a complete jerk. I've dated some really great guys. Unfortunately, I'm a magnet to men who are emotionally unavailable...super fun. The positive, though, is that in having so many experiences with hearing "You're fantastic, I love hanging out, you'll make someone super happy...but I'm not ready for bleh blah bleh," I've taken a deep look at myself and found confidence in who I am. Because when you're repeatedly rejected, you either become very at peace with the person you are, or you constantly question yourself and get insecure and try to change yourself to be lovable to the next guy you meet. Of course lessons are learned in each relationship that will better you for the next one, but in general, you should be proud of who you are at your core. So if someone isn't ready for a relationship, you know it's not you. It has taken me a loooong time to figure that out and to become the person I know is worthy of commitment, but I'm really glad I have. I know I'm not perfect, but I certainly am not a totally crazy, undatable psycho. Perhaps if it weren't for all of those hard experiences with men, I wouldn't have taken the time to become as happy with myself as I am now. Thus, until I happen to meet someone great with the timing just right, I'm incredibly content with just my friends by my side :)

Here's a video of a scene in "Friends With Benefits" that I was kind of obsessed with being filmed in Times Square. It's when Mila Kunis is trying to get Justin Timberlake to move to NYC. She totally sold me. (I freaking LOVE flash mobs):

Anyone else notice the old lady in white really struggling...?

The End of a Chapter

Man, moving can be stressful. Everyone says that, but I guess it's hard to understand until you go through it. I've been running around trying to change banks, figure out lease agreements, prepare for my new job, etc. On top of it all, I'm trying to figure out things specific to NY...like where do you buy groceries? Apparently they deliver them? Weird. How will I maneuver the ridiculously complex metro system? Not to mention I still have to sell my car (seemingly impossible), pack everything I own in two suitcases, buy my bus ticket, and do a million other things that I haven't even thought of yet. I know everything will be okay, but it's all a little overwhelming. On a positive note, I've been looking at my budget and I will absolutely lose the weight I've gained since Miss Virginia since I will be able to spend about $0.94 on food a day. Yay.

The best and the worst part about moving are the shifts in who I regularly interact with. I am thrilled to know that I will see my brother and Lindsay (his fiance), my best friend Tess (my longest time best friend- third grade- who lives in Brooklyn), my new partner in crime Brittany, and other fun people all the time. However, thinking about not seeing my mom, my little brother, my dad and Jean, Krystal and Jen, Kenon, Ashley, Amanda, Wes, Kristina, the Baulch fam, and the rest of my friends in Virginia Beach whenever I want is difficult. Many of these friendships just developed in the past year because my friends from college/high school don't live in the area, but they've been with me through a tremendous growing period in my life.

Being away from my family will also be hard, not because I lack independence, but because I am so close to them. I mentioned in an earlier post about how much I love my little brother, Dad, and Jean. Who I live with, though, is my mother. My mom and I have such a special relationship where she trusts me to make my own decisions and never tried to control me as I lived at home to save money this past year- she gets that I'm 23. Yet she gives me as much love, attention, and support as when she made homemade Power Rangers birthday cakes and drove me to all of my extracurriculars while I was growing up. As most moms do (though not as well as my mom, since she's the best- duh), my mother has the ability to feel everything I feel, but even more so. She's heartbroken for me if I'm sad, elated if I'm happy, passionate when I'm excited, and dedicated when I have a dream. To be honest, the worst part about the ups and downs this past year was knowing my mom had to go through them with me. When four boys in this one year alone hurt me for reasons I had no control over, she saw and felt each heartbreak (obviously all different levels, but painful just the same). She saw me lose sight of myself and my dream in December, so she sent me dog sledding because she, more than anyone else, knows it takes something that challenging for me to harness in the broader perspective. She watched me finally give 100% to my quest to become Miss Virginia- something I normally don't do because I'm afraid of being rejected at my best- and still not get the job. She's watched my friends get opportunities I don't, seen my trust repeatedly broken (never by a girlfriend...how interesting. Boooooo to the male species), and witnessed my struggle in finding my purpose. She's also watched as I impacted the lives of children with my S.A.I.L. program in schools, performed in professional musicals, built confidence in the younger girls at Miss Virginia, and found pride in my ability to give my heart to every person I meet. Of course I will call her all the time, but knowing my mom won't be close at hand through my new experiences in New York is a strange feeling.

Leaving friends and family behind is always hard. So is leaving behind memories. Perhaps they go hand-in-hand, but not necessarily. Many memories have to do with people who were in your life for only a short while, but who you never stop associating with certain surroundings. For instance, I'll miss Great Neck Road for the times I road in Eric's red Eclipse in high school, the burned down Cold Stone Creamery for the ridiculous stories while working there with friends, Chicks for the Happy Hours with Rich, Jen, Krystal and that crew, C.P. Shuckers for all of the fun times I had with Neil and his friends, the dive bar Starz where I spent a few hilarious evenings people watching with Ashley and Amanda, the Westin for the time I got to spend with Polly, Curly, Kristina, Andrew, and Kathryn, the boardwalk for the numerous beach cruising afternoons with Wes, and so many more memory-filled locations. Some of these people will remain in my life forever, some may not, but Virginia Beach will always hold the memories I have with them.

That being said, I know I am ready to get out of Virginia. Questions surrounding wanting to move are obsolete. But with my bus leaving one week from tonight, reminiscing is hard to avoid. The Commonwealth has served me well. I can only hope the new chapter that unfolds in New York will be as rewarding as the chapters in Virginia that have shaped me into the person I'm proud to be today.

D.C. Weekend

The visit to D.C. was a success! I am so grateful to have such amazing girlfriends who I can trust and have a blast with, no matter where we are or how long we've been apart. Three of the best decisions I've ever made involve becoming a part of three organizations that gave me unbeatable friendships: Phi Mu Fraternity, The Newport Pearls a cappella ensemble, and the Miss Virginia Organization. The quality of friendships is far more important than the quantity, of course, but I am extraordinarily lucky in that I have so, so many very close friendships that developed by spending a lot of meaningful time with each of these groups. This weekend, I spent time with Phi Mus and Miss Virginia ladies. A couple weeks ago, I had a get-away wedding weekend with all of my Pearlfriends (clever name, right?). Each set of girls makes me feel completely comfortable being my goofy, talkative self and love me unconditionally...just like I love them! In addition to Phi Mus, Pearls, and Miss VA girls, I have my long time bests who I grew up with, my girls from Busch Gardens, and my soon-to-be sister in law...I can't believe how fortunate I am to have all of these women who I can (and have) call at any time of day and who know me inside and out. People say you can't have more than a couple true friends, but that's just not true :)

Now that I've explained how much I love my friends, let me walk you through the weekend. I will start by saying this: Do not EVER drive in D.C. I've done it twice. First time, I got lost AND pulled over by a cop because I was talking on my phone trying to figure out how to get UN-lost (note to self, talking on phone in D.C. is illegal..but have no fear, I charmed my way out of that ticket). Round two- this weekend- resulted in an hour of stress as I tried to avoid 6,000 cars on scary one way roads and round abouts that were all honking at me because I couldn't find a parking spot. Want to know why? Because there ARE NONE. Nope. You can't park anywhere in D.C. for more than 2 hours. I mean, what can you even accomplish in 2 hours? Get Starbucks and take a picture on giant Abe Lincoln's lap? Both very wonderful and necessary activities when you're in D.C., but not what I had on tap for this particular visit. Minus the Starbucks. Still had my iced soy chai every day.

After Stephanie (Miss VA girl from Virginia Beach!) and I finally made the decision to just park at Claire and Lindsey's (Phi Mus!) apartment in Arlington, we took the metro back to Kourtney's (Miss VA girl!) place in D.C. That night, we went out in Georgetown with Kourtney's "older" new boy toy (he's 26. I firmly believe the perfect male age range is 27-30, so maybe I like old men in the eyes of most girls my age...not worried about it). We had tons fun with lots of interesting characters. A middle-aged Mexican man and his girlfriend bought Stephanie and I tequila because we "reminded him of his daughter," a boy named "Deke" decided he didn't support pageant platforms (psshh), and a girl made Stephanie give her her drink because, unbenownst to Steph, the girl's boyfriend had bought it for her. And the girl actually DRANK the rest of it. Two things I'd like to say to that young lady: A) Please, please get out of that relationship. He bought another girl a drink while you're in the same room. Bad sign. B) There are a LOT of germs out there. Don't drink out of a stranger's glass. [Picture above: myself, Kourtney, and Stephanie before heading out!]

The next day (after Claire walked a mile home and Stephanie had used four band aides to cover her rug burn), Stephanie, Claire, Lindsey, and myself ate breakfast...wait, no, dinner..when we woke up. I have not slept in until 2pm since, well, maybe ever. We were sitting at a little diner eating our greasy food, which we believed to be brunch, when someone looked at her phone and said "um, you guys, it's 4:30pm." The world paused for a second, we each individually decided that there was no way that statement was true, and we went on with the rest of our meal. A few hours later, we were watching Sex and the City the movie (Hey! I've seen this episode!) and I looked at the clock..."in other news, ladies, it is 7pm." We almost died of laughter- this could not be real! It felt like 12 noon. The sun was still bright, only two of us had yet to shower (I actually never did that day...whatever), and we couldn't fathom getting ready for another night out on the town. But of course we did. My awesome Phi Mu little sister, Sarah, and another lovely sister, Chelsea (more commonly known as Chiz), joined us on our Saturday night adventure. This time we ended up in Dupont Circle. Let me sum it up quickly: we befriended the bouncers, two boys we met spent $300 on a table for the eight of us, Claire and Chiz poured ice in one of their pants, Lindsey stole the camera from the club photographer, and a boy who is deaf in one ear pulled a move on me. For the record, I'm not judging for the deaf ear. My first boyfriend was deaf in one ear. But is it really that common? How do they find me? Maybe I'm supposed to be with someone who can just turn over if he gets tired of hearing me talk. Who knows. [Picture above: my little and me (I've been told I have a nice smile) , Picture below: all of us with the bouncers]

Sunday was much more productive. Steph and I said so long to Claire, Linds, Sarah, and Chiz to go meet Kourtney and Molly (another Miss VA girl!) for lunch/paint your own pottery. Painting the pottery was SO much fun. Except for Stephanie, who gets really stressed when doing any sort of arts and crafts. I personally think that's a strange quality for a girl who's an elementary school teacher, but she almost broke out in hives when she was tracing the conch shell onto her coffee mug. My canvas of choice was a toothbrush holder, on which I painted the four of us in different Miss Virginia outfits. Watch out, Van Gogh. To top off the afternoon, we went house hunting. Makes sense..? Take a look at Molls and me in the very nice shower.

On my way home from D.C., I had the pleasure of speaking with one of my future NY roommates! Best part: he has an Australian accent. This decision to move just keeps getting better. I'm all set to move in a week from Wednesday!