Okay, that's a blatant lie. I love watching chick flicks. But I really can't stand the cliche "it always works out in the end" thing. I think that's why I like "My Best Friend's Wedding." They don't end up together...that's WAY closer to the truth than the rest of them! I'm not completely bitter and stupid enough to say that deep happiness in relationships doesn't exist (I have examples of those relationships in my life), but I'm definitely at a stage where I feel like throwing popcorn at the screen when they play "Hey, Soul Sister" at the end of a movie to provoke warm, fuzzy feelings while the couple makes out in front of the empire state building or some other place that is way too public.
You might be wondering where this is all coming from. I saw "Crazy Stupid Love" last night and "Friends With Benefits" tonight. Double wammy. Let me start by saying both are fantastic chick flicks and I recommend them to any girl who wants to get a good laugh, stare at Ryan Gosling and Justin Timberlake without shirts on, and hate on the leading ladies for being too skinny. However, both movies (as in most chick flicks) portray a love that is based on one person changing his/her mind about not wanting a relationship because another person all of a sudden rocks their world and magically makes them into perfect long-term mate material. THIS IS SO STUPID. I'm sorry, no guy will get into a relationship with you if he is anti-relationships. Learned that the hard way...three times. You think you'll be that girl who changes his mind: wrong. Individuals will only get in a relationship if they WANT to be in a relationship...at least a part of them. I'm sure some people may try to argue this statement, but it's irrefutable. Maybe you can be with someone who doesn't want a relationship for a short while because you get along and have common interests, but after 2 1/2 months (yes, I've had enough experience to know that about 75 days is usually the breaking point), that person will start freaking out that they're in something they weren't ready for and they will leave. I promise you. My advice? Don't get involved with the following people: someone who is starting his career, someone who is moving, someone who still talks to his ex all the time, someone who goes to the gym for more than one hour a day, or someone who won't call you his girlfriend after you've been exclusive for over a month. No, I am not talking about one particular bad experience. This is a combination list.
Don't get me wrong. Just because a guy doesn't want a relationship doesn't make him a complete jerk. I've dated some really great guys. Unfortunately, I'm a magnet to men who are emotionally unavailable...super fun. The positive, though, is that in having so many experiences with hearing "You're fantastic, I love hanging out, you'll make someone super happy...but I'm not ready for bleh blah bleh," I've taken a deep look at myself and found confidence in who I am. Because when you're repeatedly rejected, you either become very at peace with the person you are, or you constantly question yourself and get insecure and try to change yourself to be lovable to the next guy you meet. Of course lessons are learned in each relationship that will better you for the next one, but in general, you should be proud of who you are at your core. So if someone isn't ready for a relationship, you know it's not you. It has taken me a loooong time to figure that out and to become the person I know is worthy of commitment, but I'm really glad I have. I know I'm not perfect, but I certainly am not a totally crazy, undatable psycho. Perhaps if it weren't for all of those hard experiences with men, I wouldn't have taken the time to become as happy with myself as I am now. Thus, until I happen to meet someone great with the timing just right, I'm incredibly content with just my friends by my side :)
Here's a video of a scene in "Friends With Benefits" that I was kind of obsessed with being filmed in Times Square. It's when Mila Kunis is trying to get Justin Timberlake to move to NYC. She totally sold me. (I freaking LOVE flash mobs):
Anyone else notice the old lady in white really struggling...?
oh thank god something i said finally sunk in ;)
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