Conceit

Between pageant girls and performers, I'm always surrounded by talented, beautiful, and driven young women. I love my friendships with all of them, but I've started to become weary of the self-obsession these hobbies bring about. For the most part, participants are able to handle the competition gracefully, but others become narcissistic without even realizing it. They're still moral, giving, wonderful people, except they subconsciously (or consciously without admittance) think they're a better breed for whatever reason: talent, looks, being the most well-known, etc. I'd be lying if I said that I haven't felt myself falling into the trap of conceit at times. When you have a crown on your head, people constantly tell you that you're gorgeous and special. When you sing for a crowd, applause and compliments come flooding in. Anyone with any sort of self worth would start to feel pompous if they didn't take a step back to assess the reality of their humanness. Really, is anyone that much more interesting because their vocal chords produce a pleasant sound or they have a long hair and a tan? No. But with the constant attention, pageant girls and performers are prone to believing that they are.

Because of my annoyance when I see unattractive arrogance develop in an acquaintance or friend, I'm overly sensitive to my own pride. Even writing this blog post concerns me because I don't believe I'm "better" than the girls who are narcissistic by expressing my dismay for their behavior. I mean that. We all have our vices and mine are no better than having a big head. I'm writing this only in hopes that we all take a moment to honestly evaluate the way we view ourselves.

As I mentioned above, I can hardly blame entertainers for having superiority complexes. After all, the spotlight prompts excessive praise. The trick, however, is to take each compliment with a grain of salt. I'm not saying we must brush off kind words (something I'm guilty of and constantly scolded for); it's important to be grateful for the recognition. Rather, we need to be aware of taking them too seriously. For instance, someone might say "You were the most talented singer onstage tonight!" or "This is your year! You deserve that crown!", but that does not mean you are, in fact, more talented than the others or that you deserve something more than anyone else. Sadly, many of these well-intended compliments worm their way to the back of girls' brains, where they sit on a cloud of vanity and pass judgement on other people. Most women don't even realize that they've become snobbish because they think their belief in their one-of-a-kind awesomeness is vindicated by all of their faithful admirers. We have to be so careful (I know I do) to only "believe we're the best" during the performance or audition so that we exude confidence onstage, but then let that notion fade away during our day to day lives.

The second you start thinking "Wow, I bet everyone's looking at me right now because I'm so pretty" when you're in a room full of strangers or "I got this gig because I'm the best" is when you need to take a few step back and look around for that fine line between confidence and conceit. When you find it, take a sharpie and trace over it a few times to make sure you never cross it again. Again, I've been there. I start letting all of the nice things people say about me affect the way I perceive the world around me. When I reevaluate, it's almost humorous to imagine how stuck up I can be. There are pretty people everywhere. You are not the only one people see everyday and most certainly are not the most gorgeous among them. Someone will always be better at their job than you and people are almost never paying as much attention to you as you might believe. I haven't struggled with those thoughts for a long time now because I made the decision a few years ago to always have my shield ready for when they try and sneak in, but since moving to New York, I've noticed that many amazing young women do not have their own shields at the ready. I'm appalled at the amount of girls who can say out loud "I know I'm gorgeous" or "Guys always want me" without blinking an eye. I applaud that kind of confidence, but am put off by that kind of pride. Every woman should be able to look in the mirror and say "I'm beautiful and I love this skin I'm in," but let's not get crazy here, people.

We are all capable of becoming smug. Intentional or not, superciliousness can destroy friendships, careers, and deeper happiness. No matter what world we live in- the medical world, the entertainment world, the business world, or the pageant world- let's all take time to see the extraordinary work of others around us and not submerge ourselves in the depths of self-satisfaction.